So I am definitely new to this whole blogging scene, but I thought it would be a great way to keep in touch with family and friends who are wanting to know how things are going in our lives in a little more detail than say Facebook. Another reason I wanted to start a blog was that since I had Emma 3 weeks ago, I struggled with feeling overwhelmed and feeling like I was not ready to be a mother. I read one of my college roommate's blogs and found the things she wrote about to be extremely helpful to me during this huge change in my life. Maybe writing about these changes will help me stay positive and keep things in perspective as I adjust to being a mom. I am already doing better and not feeling as overwhelmed as I did and I am very grateful for that.
The more I think about it, I think those feelings came because my labor and delivery with Emma were kind of traumatic. I went into the hospital with contractions 4-5 minutes apart at about 10:30 pm on March 9th. Aaron was already at work downstairs at the hospital so his parents picked me up and sat with me while we waited to see what the verdict was. At this point, I'd already been to the hospital 2 other times with contractions that were about 5 minutes apart, but I wasn't as far along as they wanted me to be so I was sent home both times. Finally at about midnight, a nurse came in and told me my doctor just wanted to send me over to labor and delivery because I was already almost a week overdue. So I was admitted and moved to L&D! Yay right? 2 hours later, I had received my IV and an epidural and was hooked up to pitocin to kind of pick things up. Now the waiting began. Aaron was in and out of my room through the night because he was technically still working. He was up there to stay with me as soon as he was off at 7 am though. We thought things would go quickly and they did until I got up to 9 cm which was around 2 pm on the 10th. From there it took until about 6:30 pm for me to be ready to start pushing. It is worth mentioning that I developed a fever which can happen when you are laboring for a long time and they worried about the baby with my temperature being high like that. It took 3 hours of pushing and the baby's heart rate being consistently in the 180s for all of us to come to the decision that some intervention might need to be made. The baby was low enough that I wouldn't need to have a C-section but my doctor said he was concerned for both our safety and suggested forceps. I was extremely afraid of this technique, but my doctor did a great job and we were able to get the baby out quickly. I had asked for skin to skin as soon as she was born, but as soon as her head was out, the doctors realized the cord was wrapped really tight around her neck. They still let Aaron cut the cord, but had him do it quickly. They didn't even lay her on me. I saw her face for maybe one second before they took her over to the warmer to examine her. At this point, I had not even heard her cry. They told me she was not gaining color as quickly as they wanted and wasn't breathing very well and before I knew it, the nurses were wheeling the warmer and my baby out the door to the NICU. That image along with having to get stitched up and not having slept or eaten in over 20 hours takes a toll.
She was in the NICU for a full day but recovered very quickly, which was amazing. She was such a trooper, only crying for a few seconds when they would poke her with needles and what not. She was and still is such a tough little girl. When we finally got to bring her home, I think I was overwhelmed because I had to take care of this new little stranger who had had such a traumatic beginning and I was afraid I couldn't do it. But I've learned over the past three weeks that parents aren't "born" like their babies are, they are made on the job. I feel much more in the loop now and am loving being a mom more and more. I should mention I wouldn't have been able to get through any of this without Aaron. He's such a rock and constantly is trying to help me adjust my attitude and see things in a different light. He is so busy with work and school and we hardly ever have time to spend time together but he goes out of his way to let me know how much he loves me and loves his daughter. Families are amazing things and I don't know what I would do without our newly created one, or the one I married into, or my own family. Like my roommate said in her blog post, giving birth to a child and raising one isn't easy, but it is just so magical. :)
